Driving Tip

Whilst driving to work today, I saw a lady driver cut right in front of a pickup causing him to have to drive off the road.

This evidently pissed the driver off enough that he hung out his window and gave her the finger.

“Man, that guy is stupid” I thought to myself. I always smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a lady does anything to me in
traffic and here’s why.

I used to drive 24kms each way every day to work, that’s 48kms. Of these, 16 each way was bumper-to-bumper; most of the bumper-to-bumper is on a 3-lane highway. Considering the 2 lanes I was not in, I passed something like one car every 40 feet per lane. That’s 2 cars every 40 feet for 32 kms. That works out to be 164 cars every km, or 5,248 cars.

I figure I passed at least another 500 cars on the areas not bumper-to-bumper. That brought the number to something like 5,748 cars I passed every day.

Statistically, half of these are driven by lady drivers, say 2,874. In any given group of women 1 in 28 is having the most painful day of her period.

That’s 102 lady drivers driving while their ovaries are akin to a demonic alien spawn, trying to crawl out of their ovaries, by shredding apart her insides.

According to Cosmopolitan, over 70% of women that were interviewed across large fast-paced cities describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding.

That’s 72 drivers.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, 22% of women have seriously considered suicide or homicide.

That’s 16 drivers.

34% of women from the earlier Cosmopolitan poll I mentioned, describe men as their biggest problem.

That’s 5 drivers.

According to the Automobile Association more than 25% of all lady drivers carry a weapon of sorts and this number is increasing.

That means that each day I drove past at least one driver that had a lousy love life, thought men are her biggest problem, had seriously considered homicide, is having the worst day of her period and is armed.

No matter what she does in traffic, I would never dream of giving her the finger.